The Promise & The Word

When God Speaks
by Brendalyn Crudup Martin

Sometimes, listening to God's voice and following His direction takes an awesome test of faith. Many times we face situations that cause us to ask if God is really speaking.

Maybe we feel like we’re not good enough for Him to talk to us. Even when we strut around like peacocks, inside we know that it is only by God’s Grace that we wake up each morning. So why do we have so much trouble trusting and obeying His Word?

Sometimes we wave our faith around like a banner, making sure everyone sees it, but as soon as God places something on our hearts, we find every excuse in the world to avoid doing it. We want the kind of faith that says, “have it your way.”

We enjoy the title of Christian when we don’t have to put our faith on the line. As long as we are not in danger of getting hurt or humiliating ourselves, as long as we don’t stand out in the crowd.

Sometimes the things God leads us to do make us afraid, but we must remember that He does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power.

I’m reminded of how much faith Moses had to have to go before Pharaoh, knowing that with a drop of his hand, guards would have surrounded him and possibly killed him. It took an awesome leap of faith to take on the mantle of leadership that God gave him, but he trusted and obeyed God’s Word and was able to lead his people out of bondage.

When God speaks, it not always as dramatic as telling the Israelites to pack their belonging, leave Egypt and cross the Red Sea to escape Pharaoh’s army. Sometimes God speaks in a subtle way that draws little attention but leaves the listener with a renewed spirit.

A friend sent me an e-mail about a young man who was not sure he really heard God speak to him. He felt lead to buy a gallon of milk and go to a house whose occupants he did not know, in a neighborhood he was not familiar with.

After struggling with himself, he decided to trust God and found a family going through difficulties. They had a baby who needed milk and no money to buy any. After giving them the milk and all the money he had with him, he left knowing he had heard and been obedient to God’s Word. I imagine it must have been hard to knock on the door of someone you don’t know, especially late at night.

A few years ago, I had a similar but not so dramatic event. A young couple with a 6-month-old baby was renting the house next to our church and often attended our services. The husband was having problems getting a job. He was working part-time and had to catch the bus, since they had no car. They were a nice couple, trying hard to get back on their feet.

At the end of evening service one night, I felt the Lord direct me to go to them and ask then what they needed. At first, I thought I must be imagining it and ignored the feeling. Vacation Bible School services had gone on all week and this was the last night. To celebrate, we were having a cookout in the back of the church. I headed toward the back door, but again I felt the feeling that I should go to them and ask what they needed. I thought, this is silly, what if they get offended?

Finally, after struggling over the problem for several minutes, I realized almost everyone had left the church. When I looked around, the young couple was standing in the back of the church, deep in conversation. Finally, I said, half to myself and half out loud, "Well Lord, I'll do what I feel you're directing me to do, but they will probably think I'm crazy."

Still doubting my sanity, I approached them and told them that I felt the Lord was directing me to see if they needed anything.

"We got our food stamps yesterday but could not get to the store," the young man said. "We thought my wife's mother could come and take us, but her car is not working. We need a way to get milk and diapers for the baby and some groceries. Would you mind taking us to the store?"

I would be happy to, I replied. “I’ll tell my son we’re leaving.”

"But you'll miss the cookout," his wife protested.

"I was only staying for my son," I replied, silently asking forgiveness for the small lie. "Let me arrange for someone to take him home in case we don't get back in time."

"Why don't you take my wife and I will stay here. When the cookout is over, your son can come to our house until you get back. "

After giving instructions to my son, we left for the store. When we returned, the church was dark and silent. All signs of the cookout were gone, but I did not care. The feeling you get when you are obedient to God's will was more than ample compensation for the loss of a couple of hotdogs or hamburgers and chips.

Maybe it wasn’t big and spectacular, and it did not attract any attention, but it was never about that. It was about listening to hear the subtle voice of God and knowing in your heart that you trusted and obeyed.

Brendalyn Crudup Martin is an Ordained Deacon in the Christian Methodist Episcopal Church (CME) and the Associate Assistant to Rev. Felix M. Jones, the pastor of Phillips Memorial CME Church in Phoenix, AZ. She is also the Poet Laureate of the Arizona Supreme Court.